I hate this! We made the decision that because of the cigarette tax going up $1 per pack, we would finish what we had and be done. First of all, why did I think it would be a good idea for both of us to quit at the same time? We can’t stand one another on a normal day, why would it possibly make sense for both of us to be snippy from nicotine withdrawal at the same time?
Today is day one and to be honest, I’m fighting that voice in my head telling me to go buy a pack, let him get through the withdrawals and then deal with quitting. There’s a mean voice in my head daring me to buy them, smoke right next to him like he did to me the first time I quit. Luckily, there is also the voice telling me that I’ve made it over 14 hours and I don’t NEED it. I’m trying to listen to that voice!
And was it just time for “the fight” or was it perpetuated by a lack of nicotine? Yes, today was the day I chose to tell him that I’m sick of not having any help, sick of his less-than-halfhearted attempts to find a job, sick of the way he talks to me, etc. Today was the day I chose to tell him that I *am* going to be moving out. It wasn’t pretty, but luckily Khaila wasn’t home. This has been coming for a long time and I think I’m just so sick of fighting that I let it all out.