Very recently, we found out that we were expecting our second child. Unfortunately, that news was coupled with the fact that we were probably losing our second child. It wasn’t planned, it wasn’t expected, but it was what it was. Today, we found out that I am going to miscarry, my numbers dropped by more than half rather than doubling as they would for a healthy pregnancy.
It’s amazing to me how supportive everyone has been. This time around, I’ve only heard, “Well, there must have been a reason” one time. I did get one “Maybe it’d be better if it didn’t work out since it’s not a good time for you guys” but I know that was from someone who knows the ups and downs of our marriage and I considered the source and promptly put it out of my head. The best comments have been “I’m thinking of you” and “I don’t even know what to say.” Both are very honest responses and both are more supportive than the multitude of things people say to try and make a woman feel better.
No matter if you were trying or not, if it’s a “good time” or not, or anything else, it’s still a loss. Were we trying to get pregnant? No. Did we WANT to be pregnant? Not at this time in our marriage. Did we allow ourselves to hope that things would work out for the best and we’d be welcoming a new little one? Yes, we did. A blessing is a blessing no matter when it comes. I just hope and pray that when the time is right and we are trying that we will be successful and Khaila can know the joy of being the big sister someday!