Mending Relationships

It was never easy growing up with twin siblings.  They shared a bond that I could never have with anyone.  Even though I have always understood that, it sucks!  I remember my dad and his brother talking all the time on the phone, getting together when they could, etc.  To me, that’s how it should be.

As we got older, the distance seemed greater with every passing year.  Last year, it hit an all-time low for a while.  I was getting closer with one of them but growing even further apart from the other.  It was to the point where my brother and I barely talked and when we did, it was very cold and formal.  It cut like a knife.

A few months ago, things slowly started getting better.  We now visit more often, have each other’s numbers stored in our cell phones, and have silly interactions.  Most recently, I wound up behind him on the highway.  After four miles of trying to figure out if it was him or not, I got a sure sign it was.  Yes, it looked like him from behind.  The car looked like his (but it’s a common vehicle), he had his hand resting on the window frame nearly identical to mine, the same way his twin does, the same way our dad does, probably the same way our grandfather did.

What sealed the deal was him giving me the bird at 65 miles an hour.  I saluted him back.  It wasn’t in a malicious way.  Was it what many families would do?  No.  After that, I saw him reaching for something on the passenger’s seat, perhaps his cell phone.  Nope, it was a bottle of water, which was then opened and held out the window so the wind carried it directly to my windshield.

I called him, we laughed, and went back to driving.  A few miles later, he called to let me know there was no one coming and I could pass the annoyingly slow driver that he had already passed.  Shortly after that, I sailed past him as he waited to make a left turn, both of us laying on our horns.  It was a sequence of events that made me smile.

Last night, we all met up at a huge fireworks display, completely by chance.  My other brother was coming out of the sea of 200,000 as we were getting there.  He told me where they were sitting, and we joined them.  We laughed as we ripped on each other, wrestled around play fighting, stood by each other through the anthem, raising of the flag, and an F-16 flyover.  We cheered together, comparing goosebumps on our arms.  We shared the perspective of an almost three year old watching fireworks for the first time.

All in all, it was an amazing night!  A night that I’m sure wouldn’t have happened a year ago.  I once thought there was no hope of having a relationship half as close as our dad an uncle had with that brother.  I think we’ve hit that point and hope that in time we could reach 75% as close.  It’s nice to finally have hope.

This entry was posted in Adult Children of Divorced Parents, Finding Heather. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Mending Relationships

  1. stamperdad says:

    Sometimes relationships with sibs are the hardest. My brother and my sister, both younger than me, have no concept of the trials and tribulations I have gone through in my life, makes for nothing in common. Also both live a long distance away from me so neither are that close.


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